Who tells you what a typical story is?
First off:
- fuck your narrative of Corona with homeoffice and carer
- Work life balance is irrelevant because work just is life
So these two points came to mind while hearing two audio books one about residing and the other about ageing. Both written by two women who each had a artist life (being homeless in New York, divorcing early etc.). And yo think they were both written from a deeply personal and therefore valid point but both try to be an everyday stand just a bit artistic than your average Karen.
Didn't we all just...
The narrative of corona deserves an own blog post but for time sake it basically boils down to this:
- Suddenly it was that
- I was now in the home office (in the country side)
- without any responsibility
- applauding the carers and supermarket cashiers for their service (read not paying them)
- baking bread and learning mindfulness to care only for myself This kinda rubs me the wrong way as it was completely different how I felt it:
My experience of corona (shortform)
- it slowly became a thing you heard to the reason my university closed down
- I was suddenly in an small student apartment in a new city (without many friends) only at my laptop for lectures
- I didn't have any to begin with but now I didn't even could get to know my friends more
- Feeling that the leftist hoping this wrench in the machine would change everything will not come through
- Not getting any flour, toilet paper and pasta as everything got hoarded. The new city stayed distanced to me. I was just a lonely student wishing to make more connecting, going to party's and this was replaced by a constant fear (which I still have) to be hyper aware so nobody feels stepped on their toes. I bend backwards just so a random person doesn't suffer through my actions or is inconvenienced by me (and my trans existence). I didn't life this life of freedom that is typically described by the middle class white writers. My life was closer to cpgreys spaceship you video that I would like thinking about which corner of the room do I stay in and wandering an empty city. There were some good moments like dressing up in an dress and knowing only like 5 people will see me.
Work life balance
The other one is also only a full time artist (or writer) can tell you or an entrepreneur (I just don't listen to a lot of them) statement. When you can express and fully give in your energy to your craft and if the producing goods belong to you make sense. But in the capitalist way we life I will rather cut my thumb off than buckle down, crunch, not eat just to someone else richer or do a small task where I am replaceable. I do get the idea of giving your truest and best at work but hey only to an extend. In the hours I work not for myself I try to be kind, understanding and good at my job. I put in effort because I can help human being with their problem. But I will not work overtime, don't take vacation days or get to work sick. I am as a professor said am remaining human after the work. And it's better to not only have to recharge from the back hurting work if it's mostly (not limited to) feeding your human body and giving it shelter. So yes I want my work life balance because I want to work for myself in my freetime (u know the time where we are free), do hobbies, take part in community and make the world a better place.
Who even wrote this
So then I always ask myself who wrote this and did they acknowledge their privilege because these two women were so blinding telling us their fellow comman man the relatable story. I don't think it's so relatable at all parts of the story but it's at least well written. That's the reason why I continued listing now with the aging audio book. This women lived a long life I just wish I didn't feel so distanced to them.
Why it rubs me the wrong way
At least a part of it is jealously of their ability to live a artistic life. To feel free when I have to get to work. At the global scale I am still happy I still have my passport and was not lured by someone from a construction site to switch countries. But I can not help if feeling a longing for being an full time artist event hough it's a job only the people starving themselves for a long time can do. I mean read something of The Creative Independent and you will realise how few of us get the privilege of living a life as a fulltime artist. But that is also a topic for a another blog post.
Xoxo Mossy From the plane to Budapest (fck Orban)